imagination run amok

I moved to Atlanta three and a half years ago, somewhat under duress. It wasn't where I wanted to be but if I was to make any sort of step forward in my life and break the cycle of comfortable living into deep pits, it was a necessary move. I made my designs on leaving Atlanta within the first year and heading back to NYC, transferring with the company I started working for.

That didn't happen, clearly. I'm still working for that company, and in August, it will be four years. It's longer than I've stayed with any other job, and it's allowed me to be mostly comfortable on a fairly consistent basis. I've grown and learned within my position, though when I've thought of making a switch I was never quite sure where else I could apply it.

I've stuck it out, though, and it's beginning to pay off. After a lateral move across town to help resurrect a dying location, my boss and I managed to draw a profit for the month of December. It's the first monthly profit that location has seen in perhaps 3 or 4 years. In the space of two months, we somehow miraculously made a $90,000 turnaround. Add in the issue of economic hardship everywhere, and that turnaround is even more remarkable. It won't last, as we start the new year attempting to tackle some big ticket items that have become very necessary. Still, it's a testament to the abilities of my boss and myself -- even if it's horribly immodest for me to say as much.

And now, in six months time at my 4 year anniversary with this company, it's within the realm of possibility to pay off some awesome dividends. My boss revealed to me that she is pregnant once again, and she's doubting that she'll come back this time. In the last year, I have proven myself to be an embarrassment of riches, ably demonstrating my worth during my boss's first maternity leave, and our subsequent turnaround of the new location following her return. In short, the job is mine should it come available.

It goes along with a major pay raise (just shy of double my current check... I do the payroll, I know these things!), a bonus structure, and most importantly to me -- choice.

Although I will not be doing what I dreamed of doing from a young age, it affords me the opportunity to live the way I wish to live. Everything I do now in my daily, non-professional life is comfortable, but limited. I live where I live because it's what I can afford without living in squalor. I go where I go because it's what's nearby or accessible, since I don't drive. It's lucky that for the most part I'm OK with these things, but the potential of things I can do with a little extra scratch in my pocket is exciting to me. A place of my own in a nicer, more secure part of town. A CAR to go exploring. The option of seeing a movie in Dunwoody without having to set aside an hour and a half to get there, and an hour and a half to get back. Like I said, the options I have now aren't BAD, they're just limited, and I've always been one who wants to explore. It's all running wild in my head -- the potential to improve the basic features of my life. What's more, it's sustainable if I keep working the way I do and am prudent with the choices I make.

Now THAT is exciting.

life is good

I finally did it. After fifteen months of growing it out, I cut it all off yesterday. My hair will shortly be shipped off to Locks of Love, to be made into wigs for children with cancer. It's wonderfully gratifying, and there's the added bonus of having a cute new 'do. I feel good. And those good feelings have led me to think about my station in life.

It's a good life. It's not perfect, but it's working for me. I have a great roommate who takes good care of me. I have a job that keeps me somewhat comfortable, and the best boss a person could hope for. I've regained my health after a long, questionable period. I have all my family still here, and mostly doing what they want to be doing. And after three and a half years of active disdain, I'm getting to be OK with Atlanta. I'm not in a bad place.

I'm sure next week something will happen that temporarily throws it all into flux again, but for now, I'm relaxed, lucid, and OK. And all of this is coming out because I gave something of myself to someone who otherwise wouldn't have it. I like this.